Ah, Valentine's Day, the day of roses and candy, when cards and kisses are exchanged and love is in the air. One day filled with anticipation for--what? That my friend depends on your phase of Valentine's Day. You see, just as we differ in looks, likes and dislikes, we also stand apart in the way we see this time-honored day of romance. Not surprisingly, where we are in our lives colors the lens through which we view this holiday. Since I cannot see through your lens, I can only speak for myself, and the many phases this day has gone through in my own life.

School Days and Awkward Ways

Once upon a time, when I was a child in grade school, Valentine's Day was a lovely day when we bought boxes of simple Valentines, signed them to each of our classmates--whether we liked them or not--and took them to school to exchange. If we were lucky, we took time out from class for cupcakes and heart candies, swapped our cards, and then took our haul home, where they probably ended up as kindling for our wood stove. All in all, it was a break from the drudgery of school and the cold of winter, a happy, simple time. We all knew the rules--one Valentine for each classmate. Girls were snowball targets laden with cooties that we boys struggled to avoid, and a kiss from a girl meant a trip to the bathroom to wash it off.

Somewhere in the life of every girl and boy, puberty crashes this simple party. As a boy, I remember pulling pigtails one day, then suddenly realizing that red-headed girl was actually rather cute. Without any warning, Valentine's Day emerged as a day of nervous anticipation, fear of rejection and quick thrills from a simple smile. The simple cards we exchanged in grade school took on a new meaning and complexity. Instead of "From Scott, To Classmate"cards, flowery and cheesy messages sprouted, leading to embarrassment sometimes, other times leading to awkward dates that my parents and siblings recall with frightful clarity. Thankfully, this phase also passes.

When Spring Is in the Air and Nonsense in the Brain

There are many kinds of love in the world, but the one we usually remember from Valentine's Day flows from New Love, the state that the Owl in Bambi called being "Twitterpated." It's as though our passion for someone new stages a coup in our mind, throwing out reason and wisdom and replacing it with a goofy grin and sleepless nights. It's a wonderful, magical time that rules our senses and our lives. The rush of new love overcomes a multitude of otherwise sensible traits, such as the ability to balance a checkbook or keep our credit card charges at a minimum.

Fortunately, this phase does not last forever, not because it is not wonderful, but simply because we would fall apart from the stress and strain on our bodies and souls through this process. Instead, we move into the "comfortable" phase where men and women often diverge as to the level of importance placed on this holiday.

Roses Cost HOW MUCH? Reaching the Comfortable Phase

Fortunately for our sanity and our checkbooks, the passionate fires of new romance soften into the steady glow of long-term love and friendship. It is at this point when gender differences are often revealed. Many women, including my lovely wife, place considerable importance on certain days each year, which include her birthday, our anniversary and Valentine's Day. They look forward with great anticipation to flowers, dinner, and in our case, a chance to leave our two-year-old with someone else while we slip off to do something more fun than changing diapers.

Many men, myself included, struggle to remember these days exist and cannot imagine waiting in anticipation for these romantic moments. The days I wait for each year include Baseball Opening Day, the World Series and the Super Bowl. Many of my racing fan friends also anxiously await the Indy 500, and others look forward to the Stanley Cup playoffs. Few of us remember our own birthdays, so we must make an extra effort to recall our wives' birthdays and our anniversaries. While Valentines Day is easier to remember (retailers make sure of that), it does not have the same importance as making sure we fill out our brackets for the March Madness of the NCAA basketball tournament.

My Scottish ancestry adds another level of challenge to this holiday, simply because I happen to be a natural cheapskate. I'm happy to spend money on my wife, but I dislike spending it on anything that will last but a short time, such as flowers. After all, they are beautiful when you buy them, but they fade quickly, and eventually stink. I'd prefer to find another metaphor for our marriage.

Jewelry certainly lasts longer, and my wife is always happy to receive it, however my natural Scottish cheapness rebels against the expense of precious stones and metals. Since my wife now manages our finances--in short, what's mine is now hers--she has become more of a cheapskate as well. (I knew there was a reason we got on so well). We usually compromise by going out for dinner, and exchanging thoughtful notes on cards. With enough encouragement, I may even go against my better judgment and purchase a bouquet of flowers.

Husbandly duties aside, I've begun to view Valentine's Day as yet another commercial conspiracy to part me from my hard-earned money. Between the jewelers and the florists, it's one day of the year that always seems more expensive than necessary. Perhaps as my children reach grade school, I may be able to once again look forward to this day, as a parent vicariously participating in that first innocent phase, where Valentine's Day consists of cards and cupcakes.